THE MAN RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
(I must admit, it’s pretty good)
We always hear “THE RULES” From the female side….
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1.. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping

How to Make your hair Grow

I'm stuck in a natural/ perm faze right now.

Generally, I think natural is better(my opinion) not necessarily easier, but then again, if you want to wear it natural you'll develop the patience for it.

I'll begin with Relaxed hair.

To relax your hair, you have the option of texturizers, lye/no lye relaxers.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there really is no difference between all three, they contain pretty much the same ingredients, only milder doses, which is undone when your hair dresser leaves it in your hair long enough for it to hurt.

Note: if it begins to burn, your hair is suffering, and that means its gotten to the nerves.Thats a no-no.

So Lye vs no Lye relaxers:

Lye Relaxers contain Sodium Hydroxide. The chemical is so strong that it can also be found in drain cleaners. The strength of Sodium hydroxide varies from a pH factor of 10-14. The higher the ph, the straighter the hair will get. However, a greater value can also result in greater damage.

No-Ly Relaxer- The chemical used in No-Lye relaxers is guinidine hydroxide. "No-Lye" does not mean that there are no strong chemicals in the relaxer, it implies that the chemical is less threatening or less damaging to the hair. Even so, it is still very important to ensure that the hair is in good condition before a relaxer is applied. It is also very important to strictly apply the relaxer according to the instructions provided.

The Process

The chemicals in relaxers are strong and potent enough to literally transform the original structure of the hair shaft. The chemical accomplishes this by penetrating the cortex layer. The original curl pattern is then loosened or relaxed. The central layer of the hair shaft provides the hair with its shape, elasticity and strength. Therefore, after a relaxer is performed, it is irreparable.
The optimum 'relaxed' state of your hair should still have some curl to it, it shouldnt be perfectly straight or your hair is in trouble, if you have 'negro hair' the health of your hair is in its elasticity.
Hair relaxers may give the effect of straightened hair ; however, they also weaken the hair. it is, therefore, crucial that conditioners are used before and after a relaxer treatment is applied.

DO NOT PERM YOUR HAIR YOURSELF, EVER, i'll explain why

My hair for example has three different types of textures, therefore requires, not longer time to perm, but three different types of relaxers, you often hear people say, 'oh the back of my hair perms faster than the front, or the hair in front is weaker that the others', its because you are using one strength of relaxer all through your hair, thats a no-no.

Also, when you apply relaxers to your hair, you increase the PH of your scalp. These relaxers contain chemicals that can dissolve metal overtime, so dont mess around with your scalp!

These chemicals penetrate into layers of your skin to straighten your tightly curled hair, in the process it scrapes nutrients(proteins), thats why as soon as the relaxer is washed off, if you have a good hair stylists, they would condition your hair, immediately, it also involves going under the dryer, this is so that the proteins can seep into the ares that the relaxers has depleted.

Note: If you have a good stylist, he/she should have a folder for you. It should contain what your hair is like, what works and doesnt, etc. If you ever go to your stylists and they dont remember you, RUN!

Also Never apply relaxer on damaged or already weakened hair. A relaxer should never be applied before the recommended time frame or to already processed hair. Relaxers are only to be applied to new growth to prevent over-processing, which can result in the breakdown of the hair and potential hair breakage.

What should you put in your hair, conditioners, shampoo and creams.

How Do I make it Grow? (Permed and Natural)

Caucasians asians and negros( I hope no one is offended by that word, I apologize if you are) have different hair textures and require different mode of care, meaning, you cannot and should not use products for other hair types on yours.

The sebaceous gland in Caucasians and asains for example secrets more oil into their hair, so they usually have shampoos and conditioners to decrease the grease in their hair so it grows( the downside is of course they tend to over wash their hair and then it becomes brittle and dry) negro hair though is dry and needs oil, it needs to be oiled as often as possible.

I use the word oil, because you oil the scalp, and grease the hair.

Do not use wax on your scalp, because it clogs it up. Imagine if you will, a strand of hair trying to break out of waxed up scalp; oil goes into the pores and does its job(not too much). You want to use natural oils, like avocado oil, olive oil, jojoba oil etc.

2 Cut off Split Ends!!

Your hair works from the root out, feeding nutrients up, so that your hair is healthy.

Refering to the above image, see that when you have split ends, your hair is laboring to send nutrients all the way to the end thats already dead.

By cutting it off, you maintain healthy hair and thus your hair will grow.

3 As often as you can, Condition.

Conditioning isnt an evil word, and you ca do it at home. Its just to pamper your hair and help it out. Give it some protein once in a while.

Please read the instructions on your conditioner. I mentioned that after your perm, you condition, yea? You usually sit there for about 15-20minutes, but the conditioners dont begin to really seep in until about 3minutes into the process, therefore if you read on the label of your conditioner to leave it in for only 3minutes, you know that aint right!

I'll leave off here for now, up next Curlers, hotcombs and even hand dryers, the myths vs the truths

Omoge 2010

I'm very fashion cautious, I do not ever want to be that girl that people shake their heads about like, "What the heck was she thinking ?"But are some trends that have caught my attention and I have chosen to dare them, also I'll like to share with you some designs i bumped into that

absolutely adore.So first off, folded pants

At first I thought I'd look like my pants shrunk or they are ill fitting, but I warily attempted it and loved it!

Make simple look good, make simple look sexy!

White Lace dress: I love it for its simplicity and class. I think a little white lace dress is cute.

Here are a couple of styles I bumped into from this years African designers fashion week

Have a great week, coming up next What not to wear! EVER!

Watch Me Eat

Hey!

We are back and branching out!

Be-e covers food, fashion, music, life, love, everything under the sun

Today, we'll start off with Food!
I love to cook, not so much eat, but I love to cook, and I have come up with random recipes such as Mint chicken, Coffee Chicken, Rummed Pork, etc

Today though I'd like to share my Banana Chicken Recipe with you.

This recipe was born when I was bored one afternoon and couldnt decide on lunch, I actually wanted breaded chicken but I didnt see the point of laboring so hard for one piece of chicken!

These are the ingredients required for this recipe:

Bananas, a glass of milk, chicken, dijon mustard, onions(garlic) chilli peppers, lemon juice, nutmeg, curry(for a darker yellow), and thyme. You do not necessarily have to use the exact spices, i use the mustard because it has thing odd spice, like wasabi meets ginger, chilli because i like my food somewhat spicy and milk to loosen the thickness of the banana puree, you can use cream or yogurt if you please.

First you mash up the bananas and squirt a little of the mustard in it,(you dont need a lot of mustard, its spicy and you dont want it to overwhelm the rest of the flavours)

Then in a pan, melt a spoonful of butter

when its melted, pour in your chopped onions, and leave them till they begin to brown.

After your onions brown you, you toss in your diced up chicken breast, you dont want it to cook entirely before you add the mashed up bananas.

Unfortunately I was taking these pictures with my phone and my mother called, so I'll fill in the blanks.

Pour in the milk and the mashed up bananas and stir it in, because you want the flavour of the milk and banana in your chicken.

After this you add your spices, ginger, black pepper, oregano, curry, thyme, whatever suits you, not too much, or it'll take out the flavour of the bananas.

Also, you dont want to add too much cream or milk or yogurt or it'll turn the sweet from the bananas to sour, before you know it!

All these bring us to

Boiled some rice and Voila!

Hope you enjoy it! If you have any questions or would like me to feature anything for you, enter it in in the comment box

Have a great week!

go Go GO.....

Let me start by saying, that at this very moment, I'm not so hyped about my birthday, and believe me I'm trying! hopefully when I sleep and wake up, I'll be 'me' again!
But Damn I have so much to be grateful for!!
No show boating but dang! I have achieved a bunch of stuff that even though may not be as perfect as I would like, but what is life without some downs in a Glorious UP story that happens to be my life.
I have ran associations, been honored and distinguished even put in hall of fames, have written a book and working on two now, have a title to my name, a mentor, pheonenal sister(a), girlfriend( you know its true)!, n now a director, sigh! to list a few! :D
This year, is the first that I cannot figure out what to get myself
I dont want shoes, I dont perfumes(things I can never have enough of!), I would like a publisher tho :)
So I have decided to write myself a note, a personal pat on the shoulder, morality boost, watever!
I'll share a little of it here :)
Miss Bee....
"..You are my competition, my only competition, because you somehow always set the bar higher, you dont let me rest with mediocre (although sweet) accolades, no matter what knocks me down, you get up dust it off and keep running, you encourage me, you inspire me, you make me want to be better.
Thanks to you i dont settle for the average. Girl you're tough, from the way you carry yourself to your dreams and aspirations even to your relationships, you never let me settle,like, its the best or nothing! I love you-- I love you because you have this drive, this crazy energy, this passion and I love you for it.
You do everything from your heart with love and care and patience, I've heard people say you're too nice, too giving, too trusting, but I've watched you closely n you aint no fool, you just someone with a big heart!
I love you because you dont let anything bother you, you're the only one that I know with a three minute limit to anger, you are my proverbs 31 woman, thru and thru.
I pray for you, that only diamonds may crown your head and rubies adorn your feet I bless you that only the finer silks grace your skin, and only the best of the land shall be your dinning .
I bless you that in ALL that you do, you will excel, in all your ways, you'll succeed. You have taught me so much, and empowered me to be the woman I am today. I thank God for your life, I thank God for your wonderful parents and sibling who have moulded, inspired and encouraged you to be every inch of who you are!
I thank your friends for always being there. Of cus shout outs goes to the 'Mr' thanks for who you are and coming right on time!
Thank you so much BEE"
I wish you a very very happy birthday!
Love you!

..Just Might be a Happy Birthday After all

Ok, its 1 am June 16th and I think I just caught the birthday bug.
So far I have been very pessimistic about my birthday, only because in recent years I have learnt the hard way that expectation=disappointments, so this year, I have none
I dont care if I get a cake, I dont care, if I get gifts, I'm blank
Before 'recent years' I didnt have expectations for my birthday, of course I got gifts from my parents, and a lil sm sm from uncles and stuff and it was kool please dont get me wrong, but something ALWAYS seems to go wrong on my birthday that ends up just upsetting me and the flicker of happiness vanishes.
Say, in Nigeria, it always rained, I'm serious, from the day i was born, to the day I was named, till when I left, it rained, and not ok its raining outside kinda rain, I mean there is no way I'm leaving my house for nothing kinda rain!
Then Canada, where do I begin, freeloaders? Competition?, like who has to compete with convocations?
How do you compete with that, EVERY year someone is planning a 'yippee look at me, i just graduated BBQ'
I further find it funny when people, try to hype me into feeling better, or accuse me of being pessimistic, when you get 3 unhappy birthdays in a row, Hola @ ur girl ok?!
It doesnt bother me, but I think I am entitled to one happy birthday.
I'm not asking for a lot am I?
But for some odd reason, laying on my bed right now, I feel a little glimmer, a little buzz, 'My Birthday IS coming up'
And one way or another, I will have fun
even if i lay on my bed and watch re-runs of my fav shows(which seems to be my plan right now), I will have fun!
But if could wish anything this birthday, and I have a truck load of wishes!, I'd wish to be happy.

Please feel free to share happy/ sad, weird, funny birthday experiences! :)

**Insert Title Here**

Okay, I am sorry for not writing anything in ages.
I really am so sorry.
Time just seems to fly by and there seem to be not a lot of hours in the day!
Plus twitter has a little blame here.
Twitter is like the mistress to my facebook and my blog, and I am so sorry for cheating.
That being said I'l like to introduce you to a new thing i would like to try, taking a cue from Myne Whitman i would like to do an interactive story, so I start a story with a couple of characters and you follow up and take whatever creative turns you deem fit!
I've missed blogging so much, even though not so evident by my infrequent postings :(
I dont even know where to start!
I guess I'll just keep it simple today!
Say I'm back, leave you with a lil sm' and promise to be back soon!

"Not Again"

"Oh no!"
"Not again!" I cried.
"I told you he was a two timing thief. See" she said pointing at my boyfriend and the girl in the diner.
My bloodthirsty girlfriends, in the car with me.
"If I were you I will show them pepper. The nerve!" Another said
"In broad daylight? They have no shame!" another hissed.
I had to think.
It had to be a business meeting, I rationalized.
"Maybe it isn’t what we are thinking. Maybe she is his friend from work." I said
"Friend osi wo? lati bo?"Funke snapped
You see, Funke was a fiery person. In my opinion, a whole lot of talk no action. Recently divorced, highly bitter.
"wo, you are too soft, Bunmi. It’s irritating me!" she shook in a way that made her gigatic bosoms wiggle.
"If you want to fight Funke, go to the market!" Sade said
Sade, a warrior in a different field. Not a lot of words, but volumes of action
" do you know who she is? Have you seen her before?" she said lighting up cigarette.
"Oo-oh all this is English! I say we go there and find out ourselves"
'Oh, Lord, how did I end up with friends like these?' I thought to myself.
Ireti, now her, was demented.
I met her through Sade and Funke. Sade, Funke, Kemi and I all went to the same school. We had been friends since high school.
"omo, didirin ni e oh! Ja lo men!"
" what are doing here in this car? If you no wan get down sort this babe out me I go do am for you oh!" Ireti fumed
"tell her oh, at least someone is on the same page as I am!" Funke bobbed nudging my headrest.
My head was aching. I didn’t want to confront anyone. I wasn’t in the mood for a fight; the plan had been to go to the mall. Why this petrol station. Why did I even leave my house?
"Kemi do you have any advice?"
Error! Error! Error!
I shouldn’t have asked Kemi. She was a lawyer, a very Martin Luther kind of lawyer.
"Bunmi, how many times are you going to find your man cheating on you before you know that its time to teach him a lesson?"
"how long for us all? My dear what better time than now? These men! They think of us as their toys and their slaves. My friends I tell you, this most end and its going to start with this one!"
"Funke, Ireti, Sade, ja a lo!" she rallied the troupe.
They removed their earrings and bracelets, hungry for a fight
"you guys now, chill small. What if..
"What if kini, we have been sitting here for how long? Hmm, answer now? For what? Bunmi see if you don’t stand up for this one thing all theses dudes would keep playing you, we are your friends we cant sit here and watch this injustice" kemi said soothingly.
"she is right, I mean c’mon, how long is this going to go on for. We are here and we are going to stand by you."sade continued.
We got out the car. I was still unsure about the whole thing, at least before he bent to kiss her
"oh hell no!" my rage was on
"uh hmm, that’s what I want to here! Let’s tear that mother* down!" sade cried
"asawo!’ ireti called from the door
Oh it was on, my girlfriends at the table before me, the one whose man was cheating!
"Your secret is out!" there was no stopping Ireti
"Dayo you have anything to say about this?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"ma bere! Olosi ni!" Sade pushed his head.
"and you, hello " Funke’s game was on
"there’s no need for all this embarrassment, Bunmi, we can talk about this in a more civilized way. It doesn’t have to be like this." Dayo attempted to explain.
"Bunmi I am warning you and your girls to stop all this nonsense now, I am being very patient but it would run out soon."he said
" let it run out now, do the worst you can do" Sade grabbed the jug of water on the table and poured it on him.
"now get angry, I dare you" she smirked.
"Bunmi, Bunmi!, get your girls and quietly leave. I am warning you!" his voice rising a notch.
‘Excuse me, can you please get out, you are being rude’ the girl said
"Is that right? you can still open your mouth to be pho-ne-ing for me." Funke slapped her hard across her face
"ok that’s it, Bunmi leave now!" Dayo bellowed.
People in the diner had been watching the drama without intervention, but the whole thing was going too far.
"excuse me, ladies. This isn’t the place for this kind of thing, if you want to fight please leave"
"What did you say? Who called you into this? When he was cheating and kissing her and all that nonsense, it wasn’t the place?" She stood up to the manager.
"Listen, go get a napkin and clean some tables or something, just stay out of this okay!"
Behind her, Funke was on another round of slaps, only God knows what the girl had said to her, but she fumed, her nostrils flaring.
"okay, that’s enough! Get out now!"
"We are not going anywhere!"
"security! Security!"
I knew I should have stayed at home, nothing confirmed my suspicions than the three beefy men that stood behind me.
I turned slowly, to see that they were indeed the security guards.
I would never forget the knock that landed on my head, plus the fact that I cried out a rather loud
‘Jesus!!’
The next five minutes went in a blur. As slaps greeted knocks and whipping. I knew I should have stayed at home.
I ran as fast as I could as one security guard whipped my back
‘My god!’ the koboko had like five whips
Sade and kemi were in the car in a flash. I was still struggling to escape my assailant.
why me? I didn’t even say much, I wondered as I ran.
Eventually I got into the car.
My back brutally bruised.
"Bunmi, Bunmi! Chai, this babe can sleep! We are going to stop for some petrol." Kemi said
"hmm, didn’t we just get petrol?" I asked dizzily
"Ah ah Bunmi, you really slept ey!"sade laughed
'Thank God that was a dream' I thought.
We pulled into the petrol station. Ireti flirting with the man in the car next to ours. I could swear that the girl wasn’t normal.
"come oh, Bunmi. No be you bobo dey der so?" Funke asked
"na im ! who be that? shooo Bunmi come see, your bobo dey cheat!"
‘oh no"
"Not again!" I cried.